


Little Lion Man

by CommonSense001



Series: MCU — Songfics [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Songfic, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, minor fluff, self doubt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommonSense001/pseuds/CommonSense001
Summary: Part one of two! Because I’ve had this first part done for forever and needed to upload it ;0Enjoy!





	Little Lion Man

**Author's Note:**

> Part one of two! Because I’ve had this first part done for forever and needed to upload it ;0
> 
> Enjoy!

**Weep for yourself,**  
**My man.**  
**You’ll never be what is in**  
**Your heart.**

 

    Tony smiled down at the teen sitting beside him; currently watching as the young teen droned on and on about the Star Wars franchise and the upcoming movies. Honestly, where did he store all this useless information? But, the kid was happy, and so was he. Ice Cream in hand, Tony chuckled at the jokes and banter caused by the teen. Who held his own ice cream in hand. Truly, it all looked and felt so domestic. It calmed Tony, he never knew how he longed for something like this.

  
A kid.

  
Not just any kid. Peter Parker. Nerdy, smart, quirky, naïve, Peter Parker. The kid Tony never knew he wanted… But…Why did this feel so off all of a sudden? It was turning dark… but it was just a bright, sunny, summer day? No… he couldn’t let it fade away. Not now. No! No no _no no no_ –

  
Tony awoke with a start. His breathing ragged as he sat up in bed, the word ‘no’ dying on his lips. A dream… that, happy moment… felt so real. How was it all a dream? He turned to his side, expecting to find Pepper there… but no. She was gone too. The domestic bliss now broken.

  
His eyes drifted to the clock on his bedside table, it read ‘1:37 a.m.’ “FRIDAY, remind me to call Peter Parker.” He called to the AI in the ceiling. The grim look on his face ever so present. “ _Of course, Sir._ ” The AI answered, leaving him to his own mind in the dark room.

  
Harsh reality would dawn upon him. He would never get that domestic life… would he? He was too fucked up. He couldn’t let himself fuck that kid up too. He couldn't…

  
Then he thought about the ice cream, the laughs and jokes in the park, the smile that shined on Peter’s face.

  
He couldn’t give up.

  
Not yet.

 

**Weep Little Lion Man,  
** You’re not as brave  
as you were  
at the start. 

 

    The best thing about nightly patrols was the thrill of the fall and the wind in his face. The pure excitement of being able to make a difference and help those in need made him feel useful. The city breeze made him feel free. And courageous. The small time criminals would be about, stalking their next prey like a hungry cat. And Peter would hunt them like a dog retrieving a toy for its owner. A weird metaphor, yes, but it was given to him by Tony after all. Like the ‘ _Radioactive Hybrid Puppy_ ’ thingy.

  
The sound of screaming caught Peter’s attention; quickly, he leapt from the rooftops and into the night. Landing with semi grace and facing the robbers bravely, but recklessly. Throwing out gags and jokes to them, a smile present on his face, though it could not be seen.

  
But, just as soon as the happy, semi-risk free crime fighting started. The real battles began. Chaos, a massacre. Screaming and crying; Peter breathed in raggedly, his face contorted in pain and exhaustion. The fire roared around him, his mask torn from his face.

  
Blood. It was all he could see. The people he failed to save. It was splattered on his maskless face where bruises formed. The terror and guilt in Peter’s eyes showed as clear as day.

  
This wasn’t like the Stark Expo all those years ago, or the crime on the streets, or the Vulture. It was hell. The same hell Tony tried to keep him away from. The harsh reality dawned on him. His brave face knocked down, now terrified.

  
Tony stood across the way, his helmet drawn up as his own scared eyes caught his.

  
The tears fell. And the fire roared.

 

**Rate yourself and rake yourself,  
** take all the courage  
you have left. 

 

    The shouting around him went deaf to his ears. His mask was torn. Many holes were present due to slashes and stabs toward him during the battle. Peter watched helplessly as the alien trained his gun onto Tony. Why wasn’t he getting up? This wasn’t the end for him. It wasn’t! Peter wouldn’t allow that. The hesitant teen curled his hands into fists. This was not only to prove himself and his courage… but to protect the ones he loved and called family. He had to do this.

  
He had to.

  
“ _NO_!”

  
Peter’s cry was peircing to Tony’s ears, he could feel the determination radiating off of the teen in waves. Peter wasn’t… no he couldn’t… he wasn’t _worth_ being saved goddamnit! The force was all Tony could feel when he was shoved aside, the kid knocking the alien into next friday was blind to his eyes and the yells from his teammates deaf to his ears.

  
The kid was ok. He was selfless, reckless, and goddamn naïve to think he could just shove Tony away from the blast meant for him— He’d have to remind FRIDAY to have a chat with their friendly neighborhood Spider-man later.

  
But, they were both OK. And that’s all that mattered.

 

  
**Waste it all fixing  
** All the problems that you made  
In your own  
Head.

 

    Sometimes the guilt and remorse became too much for Tony. It consumed him like darkness, crawling up his legs and paving a way to his heart and soul. Causing him to break down and sob for hours on end. It all revolved; one day it would be Pepper; reminding him about all the times he skipped out on her or canceled on her for dinner or random dates they planned. Other times it was Rhodes, how he was the main reason he was nearly paralyzed from the waist down. Or Peter, when he neglected him and turned him away, like his father had done to him. The kid only wanted his attention and praise. And lastly, was Steve.

  
_Perfect_ Smile Steve.

 _Super_ Soldier Steve.

 _Poster_ Boy Steve.

 _Mr Freedom_ Steve.

 _Goddamn_ _**Perfect**_ Steve.

 **Backstabber** Steve.

  
Tony didn’t know when he started to break down again. But he had; and over Steve _fucking_ Rogers.

  
And Tony couldn’t help feel that them splitting up the Avengers was his  fault.

 

**But it was not  
** Your fault  
But mine. 

 

    The more Tony thought about it, the worse it had become. The guilt clawing at his chest and stomach; ripping him apart from the inside out. And frankly, Tony believed he deserved it. He took Peter’s suit away. He was the reason why Peter felt useless for days on end without the suit.

  
He remembered the heartbroken look on Peter’s face when he asked for the suit back. The tears that shined in his eyes before falling down his cheeks. He made Peter cry…

  
Your fault your fault _**your fault your fault…**_

 

**And it was  
** Your heart  
On the line. 

 

    The look of heartbreak and remorse on Peter’s face when he gave up his suit was that of a kicked puppy. His large brown eyes were red at the edges from the tears that stung them. He was nothing without the suit. Mr Stark couldn’t take it away from him. Without it– he was useless.

  
_Useless_.

  
He heard the screams of people being mugged. Or worse. They rang in his ears like a bell, reminding him of how useless he was without the suit. How he was just what Flash called him. Penis Parker, Pansy Parker, Pussy Parker… why was everything bad start with P?

  
Pathetic Parker.

  
Useless. _No good. Crybaby Parker._

  
Useless useless useless useless **_uselessuslessuseless_**

 

**I really fucked it up  
** This time.  
Didn’t I, My dear?  
Didn’t I my. 

 

    By the time Tony heard the news about the plane crash, he was up and shooting off towards the hospital. Peter was hurt because of him. Because he took away the kids only safeguard; his suit. God why did Tony have to be so stupid all the time? His mind raced as he barged into the hospital, gaining the attention of countless people. The whispers and stares he got as he tapped his foot impatiently as he sat in the cold, solid chairs waiting to hear from the doctors or May about Peter’s condition went deaf to him. His mind merely echoed over and over a matra.

 

You hurt him. This is your fault. You did that to him. Supid _stupid stupid stupid stupid-_

  
“–...ark? Mr Stark, did you hear me? Peter’s finally stable, his Aunt is already with him. You can see him, if you’d like.”

  
The look of relief flooded Tony’s face, quickly following the doctor to room 107. Aunt May was sitting in a chair to the right of Peter’s bed, he had tubes sticking out from his arms and a oxygen mask over his face. The boy was sickly pale, looking so fragile and small under the crisp white sheets surrounded by big, bulky, beeping machines. To think this all happened was because Tony took the kids suit away for him just wanting to help? The look of death shined intense in Aunt May’s eyes. And the stings of venomous words that spilled from her mouth almost made Tony glad Peter was unconscious.

  
After the onslaught of words from Aunt May, he convinced her to let him sit by his side. Holding the kids cold hand in his own. The constant beep of the heart rate monitor acting like constant reassurance that Peter was still there. He would be OK.


End file.
